Theme: Relationship, Marriage, and Family Issues
I believe that the family is not only the smallest social unit but also forms a fundamental building block of the congregation, given that each member of the church belongs to a family, which influences their behavior, character, and attitude towards the rest of society. However, there is course to worry as the rate at which marriages are breaking in the American society is alarming. With the trends of epidemic divorce rates, rampant domestic abuse cases, unprecedented increase in cohabitation and out-of-wedlock births an increased suicidality exhibit a contrary trend to what the church expects and stands for as regards to the quality of relationships that Christians should be enjoying. The seedling of love and intimacy that the scriptures inspire us to plant and nurture in our marriages and families has become stunted, and substituted with violence and hate. Such trends questions and challenges our Faith in God, especially because according to Malachi 2:16, “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So, guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.” It is unfortunate that all the problems that we in our culture today all fall back on our homes and strain our familial relationships. Therefore, I strongly believe that pastoral care is a significant resource for those that turn to the church for help when their families and marriages start becoming problematic.
I closely associate this week with the pastoral counselling, which is one of the fundamental ministries associated with liberating and healing of the community. The problems expressed by the congregation are often directed to the pastor, and the wisdom of God ought to be manifested through anointed ones to solve problems, guide, and instruct the congregation in the way of the truth in accordance with the scriptures. Pastoral care is inclined to fulfill to the congregation all the five fundamental functions; worship, fellowship, discipleship, mission, and ministry. According to Acts 2:42, the ideal church is reflected as those who believe in Jesus Christ as savior and Lord, and are “committed to meet regularly for worship, teaching, fellowship, and prayer.” Wirth regard to this week’s focus on marriage, family, and relationships, I refer to the teachings of the bible regarding marriage and family, which are reflected in the following parameters. First, the scripture compares the ideal marriage with the relationship between Jesus and the Church, in which Love and respect are of great significance as reflected in Ephesians 5:22-33. The family context also reflects the relationship between parents and children as the scripture characterizes in Ephesians 6:1-4. Most importantly, in the modern church which has become subject to cultural diversity, pastoral counselling demands the consideration of the many forms and spectrum of styles and a look at marital and familial problems from different perspectives and settings to understand and render reliable and realistic counsel. Christians are their culture and family, and their attitudes and perceptions towards each other and even the rest of the church is influenced by their background. Therefore, it is critical to embrace cultural awareness in the church and consider the same when attempting to comprehend and respond to problems that occur in the contest of relationships and marriages because it would render more accurate and considerate solutions. Augsburger’s recommendations on cultural awareness overlap with the scriptural teachings of Galatians 3:28 – “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
According to Dr. Sharon Hart, a marriage counsellor, attachments, which are deep and enduring bonds are formed between two people when they are close to each other. The first attachments occur at early childhood and continue as we grow, diversifying and increasing in complexity as we mature. Relationships form the safe haven for individuals turn to when they have challenges. They are characterized by proximity with each other, which enables members to spend time together and connect. Another aspect of safe haven relationships is trust and reliability. A relationship or marriage can become stronger if partners are trustworthy to each other and keep their word whenever the make promises. Availability and sacrifice for each other is also critical for relationships. For example, children build their attachment to caregivers who are readily available to them, and those that offer them the comfort and emotional availability that they need. Therefore, as we explore marriages, relationships and family issues in this week, our key components of focus in counselling is the scriptural guidance available regarding our social relationships, which also feature as part of the building blocks of safe haven relationships as outlined by Dr. Sharon Hart. I will continue to be an ambassador of safe haven relationships, not only with God who has promised and delivered love everyday but also to our family members and spouses who depend on our love and affection. That is especially critical because to love is a divine commandment.
Bibliography
Clinton, Tim. The Struggle is Real: How to Care for Mental and Relational Health Needs in the Church. WestBow Press, 2017.
Yarhouse, Mark A., Richard E. Butman, and Barrett W. McRay. Modern psychopathologies: A comprehensive Christian appraisal. InterVarsity Press, 2016.
Augsburger, David W. Pastoral counseling across cultures. Westminster John Knox Press, 1986.
Adams, Chris. Healthy Relationships with Sr. Sharon Hart May. [YouTube]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_rMAhVN9SQ
Relationship, Marriage, and Family Issues
Pr. Lijo George
Fuller Theological Seminary
CN721: Mental Health Issues in Congregations
11/20/22
